Fortunately, this morning I just got hit for the fifth time on a bicycle, so I can write a Top 5 list on this subject.

 

 

So I was riding my bike to work, minding my own business, when I approached a stop sign. Across the street walked two attractive young women. As I made the turn, I looked away from the women and shot a quick glance to the left to make double sure no cars were coming. All clear. As I made the turn, still looking at the women, I noticed way too late that a car was speeding forward out of its driveway. I had time to turn slightly and unclip my pedals, and WHAM! I bounced off the hood and did a somersault onto the pavement. Crowd, police, ambulance ride -- it was a bona fide scene.

 

 

Again, I was minding my own business, riding past a line of cars in the left lane, when all of a sudden a pickup truck pulls out into the right lane -- my lane -- and slams on his brakes. My front wheel hit his bumper and my chest slammed into the back of his gate, knocking the wind out of me. I sat down on the sidewalk to shake it off. The driver got out and asked if I was OK ("Dude!"), but I couldn't speak. A woman who worked in the laundromat came out and asked me about twenty times if I needed a glass of water. All I wanted to do was get away from the dude and the hydrophiliac, so as soon as I could breathe, I got on my bike and rode off. For all I know, my glasses are still in the back of that guy's truck.

 

 

I've written about this before. A driver made eye contact with me while passing me, and then made a right turn right in front of me, cutting me off and turning my front wheel into a taco.

 

 

This morning, while minding my own business, I passed a line of cars on the right and arrived at the front of the line just as the light turned green. The Qwest guy didn't have his blinker on, so I kept riding. He turned. Thump. Neither of us were going fast, so I managed to stay on my bike as I angled my shoulder and elbow into the side of the van while he completed his turn. He must have heard the thump or seen me in his side-view mirror, because he stopped. I rode around him. He motioned for me to pull over, but I was on Wendy's fancy electric bike, and there's something about the self-propulsion that makes you not want to stop and talk to people.

 

 

The Alpine Loop is one of the best road rides in the whole wide world, but there are some steep switchback turns on the narrow two-lane road that makes the ride treacherous. A frazzled woman in a Suburban took up both sides of the road, leaving me no choice but to skid and slide under her. She stopped, got out, and dearly wanted to know if I was OK. I told her that I was fine apart from a few scratches, but my bike was a mess. The important thing for her was that I was OK, so she drove off without saying another word, leaving me on the side of the road with a crimped bike. I had to find someone else to drive me home.

 

Speaking of overwhelmed soccer mom's here's the most disturbing story I've ever heard. In Colorado Springs, a Mormon woman in our old ward was taking a bunch of her kids to church. As she backed up out of her driveway, she heard a thump, so she stopped and pulled forward, creating a second thump. She had run over her 3-year-old girl. Refusing to panic and do something crazy like call 911, the woman scooped up the child, put her in the car, and drove to church, where she dropped off all the children who hadn't been run over, and then she drove to the hospital. In all fairness, the mother was probably in shock and couldn't think straight, so I'm being too harsh. Still, her child died. I told you it was disturbing.